I love the Elton John and Tim Rice musical, Aida. It is a classic story of star-crossed lovers (Aida and Radames) and their forbidden love. The young lover’s undying love finds them both buried alive, together, for all of eternity.
In one scene, the lovers are in a dialogue about the life they could have had but will never have. Aida tells Radames, “You talk as though you’ve been enslaved. If you don’t like your fate, change it! You are your own master, there are no shackles on you.”
A bit melodramatic – how could it not be with both of them ending up being buried alive? Despite the melodrama, the story holds some great truths.
- You are the only one holding yourself back (“…you have no shackles on you…”). You might not think this because your situation is beyond what you could have ever imagined (or, what anyone else could have imagined). Your circumstances could be a bad relationship, wrong job, family issues or any other type of “bad” situation.
You don’t see any possible way that you can get out of your current state of captivity or that bondage (bad situation) because the unknown of where you might end up is much too scary to even think about.
Turn that around – you have the right to not be captive by anything or anyone. And, by moving forward and unshackling yourself – you will always end up in a place much better than your current state because you are not in bondage any longer.
- You can create change. Maybe you have sat around for weeks, months or years because you were paralyzed with the fear of changing your current state. Change is scary – really scary sometimes. I know because I sat in my self-induced paralysis for almost 17 years.
But walking through that fear is sort of like those crazy folks that walk on hot coals. Noted, I have never walked on hot coals – however, I understand that the reason the coals don’t burn or harm the walker is that before the person walks through the burning coal, they make sure their feet are very wet. This moisture, when the foot hit the coals, forms a protective gas layer underneath the foot. A way to think about it is like an air hockey puck on an air hockey table.
Somehow you need to find that layer of protection and/or safety so that you can create change. For me, it was reaching out to the right folks that I felt safe with and letting them be part of the change. Even reaching out to folks was very scary to me because it meant I had to have a bit of trust in them – and trust is a very difficult topic for many people (including me).
- Not making a decision is a decision. Usually, not being proactive in making a decision in your life will force a destination on you that you don’t like. Said more simply – if you allow your life to be a series of non-decisions, then what you will end up with is definitely not what you really wanted.
Make a decision and then be prepared to have to alter or adjust that decision once made. Just because you make a decision, it does not mean that you must stick with that decision over the long haul. You can make adjustments to that decision at any given time.
Don’t let your fear hold you back. There is nothing holding you back except your perceived shackles. Make decisions and know that you will make mistakes and make wrong decisions. That’s ok – because each time you make a decision you are moving closer to creating the change that will help get you to get on with your life.
Be at peace and move forward –
Grateful Sojourner 